WHAT GOD TAUGHT ME ABOUT MY LIMITED UNDERSTANDING VIA MY SONY ALPHA CAMERA
For months leading up to my first trip to the Dominican Republic with my dad, I had been really desiring owning a professional camera. I wanted to capture our experience, you know, just in case Netflix ever decided to pick it up as a documentary. My girl math logic was also that if I had a professional camera then it would motivate me to finally start my YouTube channel— Duh!
However there was one problem: I was unemployed, so buying a camera wasn’t exactly in my budget. In light of that, I decided to pray about it and put it in God’s hands.
As our October departure neared, my desire for the camera only grew stronger. I reaalllyyy wanted it. I decided to do some research online for potential options and eventually narrowed it down to the Sony Alpha ZV-E10. When I saw the price was upwards of $900, I didn’t even bother checking the newer model, the Sony Alpha ZV-E10 II, assuming it would be far more expensive and thus not attainable for me.
As the days went by I kept asking God for a way, but ultimately my impatience got the best of me and four days before the trip I decided to charge the camera to my credit card.
You guys, 15 minutes after completing the purchase, I felt a strong conviction from God to return it—so I did.
Being convicted by God feels like a gentle nudge, a mix of a thought and a gut feeling that helps you realize the choice you made isn’t the best. It’s never harsh or filled with shame or guilt—that’s condemnation, and that comes from the enemy.
God’s conviction is always rooted in love, peace and guidance.
However, even though I felt better about returning the camera because I knew I couldn’t afford it, the overwhelming optimistic desire that I could have it didn’t leave. I kept asking God: “Why is this still so heavy on my heart?”
Pressed by the fact I was leaving in 3 days, I couldn’t resist, so the next day, I gave in again. I repurchased the camera and an SD card and said “God if this is not in your will, intervene.” — One of my favorite prayers.
Well y’all, wouldn’t you like to know the camera arrived the day before my departure, but the SD card didn’t LMAO.
While I had thoughts of taking matters into my hands again and running to Best Buy to purchase an SD card or just get one in the Dominican Republic, I now felt like I was doing the most so I decided to surrender. I said, “God, I don’t understand why I feel like this camera is meant for me, but I also feel like I’m not supposed to have it right now. I surrender. I’ll return it and let it go, may your will be done.”
A few days into the trip with my Dad, I ran out of storage on my phone right in the middle of visiting the most beautiful lagoon in Cabrera. *eyeroll* Normally, I would’ve been upset or regretful about not bringing the camera, but instead, I shrugged it off and made a joke on instagram about Apple ruining my life once again. Little did I know that post would lead to an unexpected blessing.
Upon seeing my story, my cousin slid into my DMs saying I need a camera. I shared I had bought one but the SD card did not arrive on time, to which he replied, “Wait, which camera? How much did you pay? I can get you the newer model for 50% off—we’re having our annual employee sale at work.”
Gasp, of course! I had completely forgotten that my cousin worked at a tech store. At that moment, everything made sense.
Ephesians 3:20 reminds us that “God is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine.”
The strong optimistic desire I felt in my heart wasn’t random—it was God’s promise to me. His conviction to return the camera was His way of saying, “Trust Me. I’m working on it.” While I was busy trying to take matters into my own hands, He had something so much better in store for me.
What struck me the most was when I realized I initially didn’t even consider the newer model because my logic told me it would be more expensive and thus out of my reach. I discounted myself and what I was worthy of receiving because I relied on my own understanding instead of trusting God’s timing and being patient.
This experience and realization made me reflect on how often we tend to discount ourselves in other areas of life when we try to take control. We rush and settle for a mediocre partner because our fear of being alone outweighs our faith that God has the perfect person for us in His timing. We stay in a job we’ve outgrown or feel miserable in because we resist God’s conviction to move on simply because we are unable to imagine or understand how something better could come along. We fall short in business or on a project because we rely solely on our limited logic instead of seeking God’s guidance. We even bury goals and dreams because we are not able to see how they could work out, instead of bringing them to God first and being reminded he can do infinite more than we can imagine.
All along, God was orchestrating the perfect outcome for me: the newer camera model, within my budget (half the price, are you kidding!!!) and most importantly at the right time. Because quite frankly, having that camera (or even phone storage) would’ve likely distracted me from being fully present and enjoying quality time with my dad on our first trip together.
So, with that said, as Proverbs 3:5-6 reminds us: “Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all ways submit to Him, and He will make your paths straight.”
When we fully surrender our plans and desires to God, without taking matters into our hands, we give Him the space to exceed our expectations in ways we could never imagine. In doing so, we not only receive His blessings but also deepen our relationship with Him—a win-win in my book.
Cheers Friends,
Maria <3
