I GOT FIRED AND HIRED WITHIN THE SAME DAY. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENED
During the Spring of 2022, I was working at a college access non-profit in Wall street. I’d been there close to a year and I constantly found myself feeling anxious, miserable and invincible. I felt my manager and I were not compatible and that she exhibited a lot of toxic leadership traits like micromanaging, participated in cliquish behaviors and nothing I did ever seem to be good enough.
One day during a team meeting icebreaker she asked that we share the best piece of professional advice we’ve received thus far. When it was my turn, I shared the best advice I got in my early 20s is to “chase the money first.” Obviously a metaphor, I went on to explain that to me it meant ensuring I set myself up financially above anything else, and in the career sphere that looks like not being afraid to negotiate for a higher salary, specially as a woman of color, and to avoid settling for positions where the pay is exploitative just because I want to help change the world— there are so many other ways to do that.
Apparently my advice didn’t quite land because she immediately scheduled a 1 on 1 follow-up meeting and pretty condescendingly said she is “concerned” about the advice I shared as I “will never make money in this industry unless I have multiple degrees like her and the CEO and unless I sit at the “the top”. “
Huh? Ok …
While I can agree that Education may not be the most lucrative field out there, I immediately realized her old school and limiting beliefs around success and “making money”. First of all, who’s to say I can’t just pivot?!
I further realized in that moment, coupled with my previous experiences with her, that as a manager she didn’t seem to believe in me nor have an authentic desire to grow me. I would have preferred that she approach me in a more constructive way like ask how I define success, what my salary and career goals are and perhaps even share her career trajectory and the lessons she’s learned along the way.
I didn’t take her comment too personal because I know what I am capable of, but I admit I felt annoyed because why was she so pressed to be all Negative Nancy anyway? It became clear to me that was not an environment where I could thrive nor be supported in how I want to grow in my career, so I did what I know how to do best and booked a solo vacation to clear my mind and let it go.
Bye, hoe. Hello, Spain.
My trip to Spain was refreshing. I spent time in Barcelona reconnecting with a friend I made in Budapest and made my way to Valencia, located on the Mediterranean coast and the birthplace of Paella. It was a special trip because at the time in my life I was beginning to shift from strong-independent-young-solo-traveler on the go, to Ms. solo traveler who prioritizes comfort and a slower/softer pace of life. That for me looked like investing more in nicer accommodations (RIP to my hostel life- ILYSM), having days in my vaca where I do nothing except “sophisticated people watching”— meaning from hotel rooftop bars or a beach club with, of course, wine and I even agreed to be treated to a spontaneous fancy dinner at Sabbia by a German man who catered to me in more ways than one. I’m glad I agreed to dinner because it was so much fun and we ended the night partying our life away at Marina Beach Club. Shoutout to men who do nice things just because.
I won’t lie though, the days after returning from my blissful vacation things got worst at work. I felt micromanaged to the point where I would literally have panic attacks before clocking in and I was REMOTE half the time.
So finally, on a desperate Sunday afternoon, amidst another anxiety spiral, I got on my knees and I prayed. I said “God, I know that I don’t come to you often, or ever if I am being honest, but I need you right now. I am miserable, I am desperate and I can’t take this misery and anxiety I am experiencing anymore. So please, whatever is causing me this turmoil, remove it immediately. I surrender.”
Well friends, two days later God delivered because that Tuesday at 10 AM I got let go. The conversation was brief and her basis for terminating me was that I wasn’t enough of a “visionary”. I LOL’d internally because while the organization had been around for nearly 40 years, in my short time there I designed their mentoring program from scratch which supported students across the nation, established innovative ways to engage new alumni and crafted a college support program to help their college students effectively navigate college beyond academics — if that doesn’t take vision then I don’t know.
Either way, I was more excited to leave early and run my errands at the nearby discount store than I was upset. It was obvious to me God answered my prayers and removed me from a toxic situation like I asked.
What’s wild is that 15 minutes after I walked out of that building on Wall Street, I received an email from the hiring manager at Columbia University requesting to chat later that day. I didn’t think much of it because up until that point I had only interviewed for the position twice and a few months prior, I went through 5 interview rounds with Columbia only for them to decide to not move forward with me. I cautiously had zero expectations and I was a bit nervous of having to let them know I am now funemployed.
Well y’all at 2 PM that day Columbia University (which was my dream job) called me with an offer and didn’t care to know why I was no longer with my previous employer.
I love sharing this story because as I get closer to God each day I realize all the miracles he has worked in my life even when I wasn’t a believer.
Through that experience I learned a few important lessons:
1) God is always waiting for you to reach out, regardless of where you stand with Him.
2) Good things ALWAYS comes from “bad” or unpleasant situations. Be patient and trust the process.
3) Rejection is in fact redirection.
4) Some people will not see your potential and that’s more telling about their limitations than it is about your capacity. Know yourself enough to not be deterred or distracted.
5. “Stay ready so you don’t have to get ready” - continuously explore your options regardless of how long you’ve been at a job.
I also encourage you to find colleagues you can share your experience with. Turns out my 60-something year old coworker was experiencing a similar unpleasant situation with my manager. Once I confided in her we relied on each other for support and she ended up being my reference for my new job.
In sum, if you are currently navigating a challenging or toxic work environment you are not alone. I encourage you to ask God for direction, consistently journal all of your accomplishments so that you are reminded of how great and skilled you are, talk to others about your experiences (you don’t have to go through it alone) and take your PTO— Spain is always a good idea ;)
XO- Maria
